Allowing Myself To Be Vulnerable – Re-learning A Lesson I Always Knew


I’ve heard it say that allowing yourself to be vulnerable is actually a powerful habit, and I believe it.  Not only in terms of breaking the destructive tendencies of your ego, but also for the trust that you create with others by sharing your “vulnerable” story.  No one is perfect, and when you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you own the fact that you aren’t either.

I’ve met lots of people do their very, very best to pretend that they aren’t vulnerable, and attempt to eliminate all potential signs of vulnerability.  In my experience these are often the most unhappy types of people.

I have learned that life is most fulfilling when you OWN your experience.  Good or bad.  When you accept everything that happens and then find a way to make it educational, even if by doing so, you open yourself up to being vulnerable.

Here is a recently application of this to my life.  I’ve made the very recent decision of leaving the Forzani Business Coaching group, of which I have been a part of for the past 6 months.  I think that it is a wonderful organization led by brilliant and experienced leaders.  I think that their models are cutting edge, and truly add value to a wide variety of businesses.

When I joined the organization I thought that it would be a chance to contribute to non-direct selling businesses in a similar way that I have contributed to my direct sales team.  I love working  with my Scentsy team.  I love helping them succeed, creating tools for them to be successful, helping them overcome fears and achieve goals, it is really one of the most fulfilling parts of my life.  So I thought “why not extend the joy?”.  I could work with them and I could also work with non-direct sales businesses through Forzani.

The problem however was that I also had a book contract that I was working to fulfil, and as this blog continues to attract more and more subscribers, I was wanting to continually come up with good and inspiration content, even daily.  I was being stretched too thin.

This is what happens when you are stretched too thin:

You end up under-performing in all of your pursuits

I knew this lesson.  In fact I have actually taught it to our team before.  I encourage our direct sellers to stick with one direct sales opportunity because they are more likely to be successful if they concentrate their focus instead of putting in a surface effort across a variety of enterprises.  I also know this lesson because I have studied mastery in great detail in my life and masters only move to other disciplines AFTER they have perfected the skills needed in the prior disciplines.

Here is where I made the great revelation (which caused me to resign as a Forzani Business Coach) – I hadn’t yet mastered my “first priority” domains.  Not even close.  Our Scentsy business is very successful but my wife and I aren’t even close to completing the goals that we have for ourselves.  And I am an absolute novice as a writer and a blogger.  But I want to be a master.  I want to build an absolutely amazing international business, and I want to be able to reach millions of people through my writing.  So I had to take a hard look at my time and my schedule and realize that something had to give.

I want to publicly thank the Forzani Business Coaching organization for their wonderful example and training over these last six months.  Truly a great organization that is destined for success.  But for me I had to re-learn a lesson that I always knew:

If you want to be a master, you have to focus, you can’t spread yourself thin, you have to close doors

A hard lesson in life to apply.  Now it’s time to get to work.


2 comments on “Allowing Myself To Be Vulnerable – Re-learning A Lesson I Always Knew”
  1. Ryan, this is exactly what I needed to read today. Your experience in changing your career to something different and unexpected has given me courage to try and break out of my comfort zone in order to try something exciting and new. And you have an amazing talent as a motivational writer. I always enjoy reading your insights on success based upon your personal journey.

  2. Thanks Scott! Really glad that you have been reading. It is both scary but fulfilling to turn your back on past career paths to pursue something more meaningful. But I wouldn’t ever go back. I love how I feel each day, putting my heart into my life. So much better than how it felt when I was just “punching the clock”. Even if there is uncertainty, uncertainty with fulfillment, in my opinion, beats security with drudgery any day.

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