If you read my “10 Rules For Being Happy” you know about the first great paradox. This paradox states that you need rich engaging relationships to feel complete in this life; however, other human beings are primarily the source of our emotional turmoil. Therefore, we have to learn to live the fine balance of engaging with people on the one hand, and being immune to what people say on the other.
Definitely not an easy task.
People say and do hurtful things. Many people in this world are unhappy about themselves. They compare themselves too much with others. They see life in “zero-sum”. If someone is succeed, or doing interesting or innovative things, they feel that they are failing. Instead of focusing on how they can learn from that other person, they instead focus on a negative interpretation…that they themselves are worthless, that the person who is succeeding had an unfair advantage, etc, etc.
This destructive mindset unleashes a powerful negative force. It becomes contagious, and if you maintain this mindset for long enough it will become part of your “story”, part of your “worldview”
This can lead to anger. This is not the only form of anger. Sometimes innocent people are the subject of other people’s hurtful words and lies. It has happened to me and my wife a number of times. You feel innocently attacked. It hurts. It makes you want to lash out. The anger creates a powerful emotion that catalyzes action. Often however the resulting action is to fight back, spread hurt yourself, or lash out. However, this behaviour is disempowering.
It is very difficult to “avoid” ever being angry in life. As a result, there is a better way to deal with this emotion.
Use the emotion of anger to stimulate wild, uninhibited creativity
I have a blank whiteboard that sits very close to me in my office. It is my friend because it is the primary tool that allows me to channel any anger that I may periodically feel into wild, uninhibited creativity.
Whenever I get angry, whenever I get hurt, whenever someone says or does something that I interpret as unfair or hurtful I go to my whiteboard and I create.
I create new goals.
I create plans to achieve those goals.
I create innovative ideas, strategies and techniques to succeed in my business.
Anger has facilitated my creative drive. When I channel anger I become wildly creative. And guess what……
By the time I am done creating, I am no longer angry. Funny thing.